Combe Martin Life

Hello it's me again!

2011-06-19T13:17:00.000Z

I am going to start blogging again! I am so so sorry but I have not updated this blog for so long!
Well, a lot has happened since I last posted on here but the last thing you want to hear is about my new passion for making life sized whales out of recycled old ladies stockings and chewing gum what you want to hear about is how I have changed! Yes I finally decided to buy some new boxer shorts having worn this pair for a year, not to say that they are old but they are more holey than the pope and under a microscope there is a mini civilization blooming in the gusset, why I even got some waves from workers planting a paddy field of rice down there.

Any way, I promise to start blogging frequently if only so I can look back in years to come to see what I have written and think to my self what a silly... beep... I am.

A Happy Fathers day by the way to all those Daddies out there and do not eat too many chocolate eggs.

The photo is a snowy scene looking towards Combe Martin's vally by the way.

sea

2010-10-24T18:20:00.003Z

The sea was kind of soft today but at the same time crunchy with a nutty after taste, I'll be pleased when they fix those sewer pipes that drain in to Combe Martin bay (only joking of course, the sea at Combe Martin is as clean as one of Grandmas jokes and they are very clean)

Combe Martin butterfly

2010-08-22T15:17:00.000Z

"Get a grip man! blogs must be updated regularly!" I looked around to see who was speaking to me in the garden but could not see a soul. "Oi, it's me, the pretty fella with the chick pulling to die for wings, down here ya mug!"

I saw the butterfly, he saw me, we looked at each other and I realised that the cheeky little fella was talking to me, never in my life have I had a conversation with a butterfly, on plenty of occasions I have conversed with snails, slugs and lady birds but never a butterfly (in fact the last snail I spoke to was as common as muck, not the sort of thing we wanted in our garden so I threw him over hedge, as far as I could make out his last words were "... " No, sorry, it is not the kind of gutter talk I want to publish on this blog but I am sure that one of the words he shouted rhymed with the word duck!

So, the butterfly reminded me to update my Combe Martin blog, he let me take his photo but took his boots off first and here he is.

Must go and lie down now because my head hurts.

Bye

Combe Martin New Years Eve

2010-02-14T22:17:00.000Z

See Tony, I told you I had a rather flattering photo of you, what a fine young filly!

Chris Millington

2010-02-07T20:54:00.002Z

http://www.chrismillington.com

Local Combe Martin singer and song writer Chris is just great, if you look on his site turn up the volume to listen to some of his lovely sea fairing and north devon tunes. The first part of the song is the voice of the shipping weather warning chappie that really works well me thinks!

I hope you are all fine and dandy, it is Monday tomorrow yipeeeee, I hate having the weekends off.... not

Byeeeeeeeee

more stuff

2010-01-16T16:48:00.001Z

These are the rocks below my house, the rocks always hang out there but the sea stuff comes and goes as it pleases, you would at least think it would make an effort and stay around to get to know the rocks and seaweed but oh no, it's a case of "Look at me, I am the sea, look at me wave, bla bla bla!"

Combe Martin's famous two headed horse called Nigel & Rupert.

This poor bull has horse ears, no bull.

A list of the rectors from a local Village church, notice the earlier Frenchy type names for when those nice Frenchy type of people came over here and kicked our butt in 1066 (Historic note: Combe Martin was named after a French Knight called Martin De Tours or something like that who was given the land as a gift as his part in whooping our Britt asses.

just a few more piccies

2010-01-12T22:45:00.001Z

Just a few more breezy pics and thanks for the comments big bro Kevin, Bob, Queenie, Shammywammy and TLP I appreciate it! (I suppose you could teach me a thing or two about photos Kevin!)

Have you seen my whitey coldy bits?

2010-01-09T16:32:00.001Z

This is not a photo of Paris

Cocaine fields almost ready to harvest or perhaps the farmers have not milked those cows for a while and it is overspill?

Just after this photo was taken nothing happened

A fish would not have a Chance of surviving in one of these snow covered fields

snowy wettys fluffy stuff

2010-01-07T20:45:00.001Z

I was followed to work by these village idiots, oh no it is only my good mate Billy Illing and his wife Jo

I went to read the tealeaves at the bottom of my cup and look what I saw!

This photo was taken under the new Barnstaple bridge, the white suff is snow, the green stuff is grass and the blue stuff is sky

The long and lonely trek into work, then again it was not that lonley because I had the chuckle brother and sister behind me.

Happy new year to you all!

2010-01-03T01:38:00.004Z

Just a few pics of Combe Martin new years eve, sorry no movies this year. I hope you all have a great 2010!

a few bits and bobs

2009-12-29T00:07:00.015Z

My son Toby and friend getting ready for remembrance Sunday

some cannibals have just cooked a clown in a big pot and whilst eating the clown one turns to another and says "Does this taste funny to you?" boom boom

A pint of English cider .. another pint of English cider ... ashnuver pint of eengleesh cider .. hic .. anuver pint of ingwish shider ... hic .. yummy

People lining the streets of Combe Martin hoping their combined weight will stop the road from blowing away on a very windy day

Combe Martin carnival queen and chappies from the uncle Tom cobbley horse.

Combe Martin raft race

Good old Devon strawberries and home baked scones with a big dollop of fresh cream

A sunny English village

Not a sunny English village

The lovely Pat and Murve form the Royal Marine pub in Combe Martin plus folks watch some of the 300 odd charity minis go by in August

3 and a third minis go by Pat and Murve

Rescue from beach near Combe Martin
(photos taken by a nice lady who lives in Combe Martin)

Sorry I have not blogged for a while, I hope you all had great Christmas and have a brilliant New Year! The above are just a few things that have gone on around this area over the last few Months. Byeeeeeeeeee

Combe Martin Splash

2009-10-24T11:30:00.001Z

At first glance you would think that this photo I took was a big wave crashing on to a rock but if you tilt your head to the side and stare at the image for about 15 seconds what do you see? Oh, sorry, this is a photo of a big wave crashing on to a rock, how does your neck feel now?

summer

2009-10-08T17:45:00.002Z

Bring back summer! Did I beat you lamma?

Combe Martin bay

2009-09-25T21:16:00.001Z

Hello! Really sorry I have not blogged for a while, lots more photos to blog soon. I hope everyone is fine and dandy. This is just a quick snap of Come Martin with little hang man in the background but hey! You do not need a geography lesson right now, what you need is a stiff drink! Bye for now. love Martin

few more combe martin raft race piccies

2009-08-10T21:25:00.012Z

Twins! (one Lisa Hook is bad enough thank you)

The Earl of Rone

Kevin's sister has come down to stay (she had knocked back 4 cans of stella before I even pushed the camera button down - not really of course!)

Drink drink more drink and Kevin's chocolate fondue set!

The hard working life boat men have a well deserved burger break

The car park was flooded

Drinkers

The End

2009-08-09T22:06:00.035Z

Combe Martin Carnival raft race for 2009 went really well and thanks to the sea for taking part, I gave you a wave.

Carnival queen thingymajig tomorrow night up at Hollands park!

Combe Martin Carnival

2009-08-09T12:50:00.001Z

Well Combe Martin carnival week has started for 2009 and the opening evening was at Hollands park, once again great cider, great weather, great beer, great music, great cider, great fun and great burgers and hog roast buns followed by more beer! There will be lots more fun this week with the Carnival parade on Wednesday night, the raft race and the wheel barrow race etc so get you fat or skinny butts down here and have some fun!!!

Sand dunes

2009-08-05T22:07:00.000Z

Sorry folks that I have not blogged for a while, just a quick piccie and a note to say "HELLO FOLKS!"

Pirate ship

2009-07-12T20:30:00.003Z

The pirate Captain looked at Combe Martin
through a telescope made of brass
He not only had a wooden leg
but also a wooden arse.

He had lost his leg and bottom
whilst fighting the English army
and a knock on the head by a cannon ball
had sent him rather barmy

"Look ye lads at that Village!
"It's full of money and women!"
"Lets be going a shore boys
and them that don't will end up swimmin!"

The pirates rowed to the beach
armed to the teeth with guns and knives
" There be drink and loot to be had lads
and you may even get some wives!"

As the row boats landed upon the Devon shore
the develish men ran ......

"Excuse me mister" said a little girl to the pirate Captain spoiling the poem in the process "WHAT! Ye orrible child!" screamed the captain "It's Sunday" "SO WHAT!" "No pirates on a Sunday, it's not allowed" "Oh" said the captain scratching his head "I was sure it was Monday"

The pirates walked with heads bowed and rowed back to their ship, all that wasted energy for nothing, silly pirates, you either love them or hate them!

Walking

2009-07-05T21:31:00.001Z

The greeny bits are grassy stuff, the bluey bits are skyee stuff and the other bluey wetty bits are seay stuff.

North Devon coast, good enough to eat (if you have enough custard to go with it).

This is Steve my brother in law, hello Steve, this is you on top of the cliff looking a long along way down to the sea

The Hunters Inn where we finished the hard walk with a pint of cold cloudy cider..yummy!

Combe Martin Sky

2009-06-28T21:59:00.001Z

I looked up to the sunset sky
such beauty I'd forgotten,
I forgot to watch my feet
and slid down the hill upon my bottom.

THE END

Ilfracombe Lamp

2009-06-21T00:09:00.001Z

The bird sat on top of the lamp, I looked up at the bird and the bird looked down at me, I kept looking at the bird and he kept on looking at me, we both looked at each other, both unblinking in our stare, both daring the other to look away and be the first to break our eye contact. A bead of sweat ran down my forehead as I refused to blink in case the bird thought I was weak. An hour or maybe two went by, my neck was stiff and I could no longer feel my legs but I refused to look away from the bird. I looked up at the bird and the bird looked down at me. After a while I noticed the made in China label underneath the bird, the bird was a toy, stupid toy! I looked up at the toy and the toy looked down at me, well if you just read that crap sorry to waste a few minutes of you day, I am so so sorry.

Fellow Blogger

2009-06-18T21:57:00.001Z

This is just a quick post for a lovely fellow blogger I met on Combe Martin beach called Helen, she is on hols from up tut north and is staying for a week. It was great chatting to you and I hope that Combe Martin is every thing that I have said it is in my blog posts!
I had forgotten the question 'What noise annoys an oyster?' the answer being 'A noisy noise annoys an oyster!' (try saying that after a bottle of scotch!)

Good doggie

2009-06-16T21:46:00.001Z

I have a dog called Bandit
on a bone he often mauls,
He likes to keep clean and tidy
and is often licking his .... ears

When he is finished licking his ears
they looks as clean as brass
He then cleans up his back legs
and finishes licking his . ... tail

Gosh how rude some of you people are! One track minds, I bet you thought I was going to finish each line off with a rude word, I do not know, you just cannot get the quality of readers these days!

Goodnight!

13!!

2009-06-12T07:23:00.003Z

Happy Burfday Toby (sorry to Patty and Shammy from over the water, I forgot to say this was our younger son Toby and not Jake but thanks for the good wishes!)

Happy Birthday!

2009-06-11T21:44:00.002Z

Our little baby boy is 13 tomorrow! Happy birthday me little old fella, love Mum, Dad, Jake & Bandit! Now get out and get a job! I need beer money!

Good Night Combe Martin (and the world)

2009-06-11T20:52:00.000Z

Strawberry Fair

2009-06-11T20:09:00.001Z

Yummy! It was Strawberry fair on Sunday with lots of fresh Combe Martin Strawberries and thick Devon cream and wet Devon Cider YUMMY!!!!

Splish!

2009-06-06T07:59:00.000Z

Splosh!

2009-06-06T07:57:00.000Z

Splash!

2009-06-06T07:55:00.000Z

Another sunny day

2009-06-02T19:59:00.001Z

Just a super quick post... another lovely sunny day in Combe Martin, if I was standing on this beach when the tide was in then I would be about 20 foot under water right now from this spot this is the reason why I took the photo when the tide was out. See, not as stupid as I look am I?

Sorry got to rush, love you all, well not all of you, I mean some of you I do not even know, you could be Bogey men and women for all I know.

Four men in a boat

2009-05-31T13:15:00.001Z

Four fishermen out in their boat
preparing their rods, reels and bits,
to their surprise they caught a mermaid
who had a lovely big pair of ... uur? earrings!

Sorry I could not think of a word that rhymes with bits.

Just after I had taken this photo a great big blue whale dived out of the water and swallowed all the men including the boat, it was absolutely terrible, my camera's battery had run out so I missed a great photo.

Good horsey

2009-05-30T14:59:00.001Z

I saw this horse and took his picture, he looked rather sad, "why the long face?" I asked, boom boom, the oldest ones are always the best unless of course you have never heard of the sad expression 'why the long face?' and realise that horses have long faces and if this is the case then I have just wasted about 3.5 seconds of your life (sorry about that)

If you can click on the picture it will make it larger and you may just see my reflection in the horses eye and yes I am wearing my shorts for the first time this year and no they are not white stockings I am wearing but they are my little white legs.

As I walked back to my car I heard a gruff voice say "Give us a quid!" (a quid is slang for an English one pound coin by the way for all you foreign chappies) I turned around and the horse said "That's right, you heard, give us a quid for me letting you take the photo of me!" Now I was really shocked, I have never in all my years come across this before, An English pound for taking a photo!! What a rip off, the horse must have been mad trying to charge so much. "I took a photo of a sheep the other day and he only wanted a sugar lump" I said to the horse "Well, sheep are stupid and they do not understand the rates of inflation and how fluctuations in the growth rate of international currency are effecting stocks and shares in this current economic climate" the horse said.

"Whatever!" I said and ran and jumped in the car driving off in a cloud of dust before he called up his lawyer on his mobile.

Whatever has happened to the sweet horses that I used to know, this lot these days are just animals.

The sun is out today.

Yippee!! Have a great weekend folks.

Love and big kisses - Martin

Happy 16th Birthday!

2009-05-27T20:31:00.001Z

Happy 16th Birthday to Jake's lovely girlfriend Haleigh! (She is the one in the dress and the other one is our son)
We hope you have a sooper dooper day!

Love Martin, Jackie, Jake & Toby xxx

combe Martin Beach

2009-05-26T21:56:00.001Z

You may have to click on the image to englarge it but how many people can you count on Combe Martin beach in this photo? I will give you a clue, there are 8 people .... Oh, I'm not very good at this game am I, I should have given less of a clue like how many legs does a stork have or how many oranges would I have left if I had started with 20, gave 2 to a one eyed dog, used 5 to squeeze making fresh orange juice for a bus load of school kids that were sick due to eating too many sweets and I threw one at a policeman on a bicycle to see if he would go "Ouch!" and put one down my pants to impress the chicks (no forget that last one, that was too rude) and rolled one down the hill and.... oh I give up, the answer is 8 as I said the first time.

Got to go to bed now,, have a lovely day tomorrow to all of you.

Goodnight

No Ball Games!

2009-05-25T22:22:00.001Z

Boys will be boys! Read the sign!

clever red box

2009-05-25T22:16:00.001Z

This red box is so clever, put something like a letter in the slot and by the next day it has gone, no really! I put a letter in there recently and this is no word of a lie but my Mum who lives over 200 miles away in Wales had the very same letter put through her letter box, I know it was the same one because I had stuck a stamp with the Queens head on it (not her real head but a drawing of her, it would have to be a very big letter to fit her whole head on and I do not think the Queen would like me playing with her head and also those soldier boys with red coats and bear butts on their heads would come and duff me up). Such a clever box, how does that work then? spooky!

There has been a lot of trouble with daisies fighting outside our house during the day, I took this photo of a crowd of them that were chasing after a bunch of daffodils, the language was absolutely foul and made even me blush. These little rough flowers seem to go around in gangs, they smell nice and look sweet with their little yellow faces but we do not need their sort around here!

Lorenzybum

2009-05-23T21:51:00.001Z

Hey Lorenzybum from up tut North, I saw this lady and thought of you!

I am a Llama I eat lots of grass,
it feels good in my belly
but stings my poor ar....

How very rude!

This and that

2009-05-23T21:42:00.000Z

This is younger son Toby who will be 13 in a few weeks time. Great! He will now be able to go out to work and bring some money in to the house so I can buy more beer!

Chris Franks and the girls who once again worked their tiny little feet off serving a whole range of local beers and ciders at the Ilfracombe beer festival that Chris has helped build up in to quite an ... hic ... event!

It was one of these lads birthdays and they asked me to take a picture so I took their picture as it was one of these lads birthdays and now they can see a picture of one of their birthdays standing there having their picture taken..

Sunday 24th May, come to Combe Martin football pitch at Hollands park for the six a side football from 10.30 til late. Bar, BBQ, stuff, a band from 6.30pm, beer, more stuff and more beer.

sorry I have not been here!

2009-05-23T21:20:00.003Z

Hello and sorry I have not been around for a while, thank you so much to you lovely people in other parts of the world that have kept my blog alive with your oh so funny comments, I have only just got around to reading them and did not realise what you crazy fools had been up to! We finally sold the house and we are now renting a nice house down by the beach (shame about the horrible view from the lounge window though!)

It was Jake's my eldest sons prom night recently (look what you guys from over the pond have done in the good old US of A! We never had proms in my day but have now started having them in England too. This is a photo of Jake and his lovely girlfriend Hayleigh all dressed up before the prom... aah, they look sweet! I will post some more prom photos soon.

2009-05-23T21:07:00.000Z

I am in England and tonight I can just about see Wales across the water, I am sure that really interests you!

Happy Birthday Jake!

2009-02-27T22:25:00.003Z

This is just a post to wish our little shit ......... urr sorry, I mean our lovely little baby boy Jake a happy 16th birthday tomorrow!

You have grown up into a fine young man Jake and we are very proud of you!

Have a great day mate!!

Love Mum, Dad and your little brother Toby!

It snowed in Combe Martin today!

2009-02-03T15:27:00.016Z

We were all bogged in today with snow, snow may seem like quite a normal event to a lot of you folks out there in the big wide world but in Combe Martin we hardly get any and we were all really excited "Howaaahhh!" we all shouted as all the villagers dug out the jumpers with reindeer's on that had been knitted by some dusty old Aunt back in the 70's

The white stuff is snow and the stuff that is not white is not snow

How we all laughed when we got home and Bandits paws fell off due to the cold, do not worry kids, I will make him a new set using some old coconut shells we have

83!!

2009-01-18T21:40:00.007Z

Jackie and myself puffed and panted up to the top of little hang man hill today over looking the bay of combe martin and after catching our breaths at the top two ladies joined us. These ladies were called Ella and Isabel from Wrexham and Ella said it was her birthday on Tuesday and she would be 83! Yes not 23, not even 73 but 83 and she had recovered from breaking two ankles after falling down a mountain! After Ella beat me at arm wrestling and showed me how to do a triple back flip we said our goodbyes and headed back home. Happy birthday on Tuesday Ella!

By the way, Little Hang man hill is 700 feet above sea level and was built a few million years ago from rocks and grass and stuff.

View along the coast from the top of little hang man hill towards great hang man hill

A gang of sheep looking for trouble.

This is a strange one! Have you ever heard of vegetables etc that look like religious people of film stars etc? Well Jake peeled this potato and it was so uncanny because if you stare at the photo long enough you can just make out eyes, a nose and mouth with teeth, strange, so, so strange!

Goodnight!

Xmas do

2009-01-09T19:01:00.003Z

Oh dear, the works Christmas do is all coming back to me now! Just found this photo on a friends facebook site, thanks for that Adam! Hic! What sort of cheesy grin is that?

Some Combe Martin New Eve pics

2009-01-01T22:02:00.016Z

A happy new year to you all folks and I hope you all have a great 2009! These are just a few pics of some of the strange and wonderful people you see around Combe Martin on New Years eve! You may have to click on the pictures to enlarge them.

I will try to post a small movie within the next week.

(Some people said I looked like a really evil snowman and now looking at my red eyes in the last photo due to trying to scrub this makeup stuff off and the effects of one too many sherries I can see why!)

Happy Crimbo!

2008-12-24T14:42:00.007Z

A very happy Christmas to you all, please remember it is not the giving but the getting that counts so I hope you get given lots of good expensive stuff too like I is hoping to get and ask anyone that give you any pressies for a receipt so if it is rubbish stuff you can take it back to the shop and get money so you can buy beer.

Sorry I have not been blogging for a while but I am afraid I received a bit of bad news a Month or so ago, apparently the tooth fairy is not real, how bad is that?

I promise to visit all my fellow blogger sites soon when I get released, the prison food is not too bad but I nearly broke my teeth on a metal file that my wife had put in a cake, what is she like? Of all the things to mix up with the mix!

As I have said before, if you need a friend to talk to and are feeling down at Christmas or if you need a shoulder to cry on then do not come running to me with your sob stories, just snap out of it fool! (only joking!)

Well, I do hope you all have a sooper dooper time and I love you all (apart from the ugly ones or the ones with no money)

Byeeeeeeeee for now.

PS I have just posted a few photos I have taken below (hopefully the photo shop will not realise I have taken them until after the Christmas break when they reopen!

Warmth

2008-11-30T19:53:00.004Z

On this cold winters evening I thought I would post a warm photo to put some heat in to your old cold bones

Sally and Mikes Wedding

2008-11-26T23:09:00.010Z

Just a few lovely photos taken by Dave Coomber of lovely Sally and lovely Mike (you may have to click on the photos to enlarge them and sorry if I missed any photos out)

All the best for the future to you both ... hip hip ... HORRAY!!!!

Light

2008-11-26T07:34:00.003Z

So there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Through dark turmoil's in life we fight
but at the end of the journey there will be light.

(And lots of chocolate and toys and good stuff like that!)

Quicky

2008-11-24T07:39:00.005Z

TELEGRAM

OFF TO WORK++STOP++KIDS TO SCHOOL++STOP++SALLY AND MIKES WEDDING PICS LATER++STOP++GOT TO GO++STOP++QUICK PHOTO FOR YOU++STOP

Coooooooooo!!

2008-11-16T16:17:00.004Z

Only 17 more visits until 50,000 of you monkeys have visited this site from around the world!

50,000 of you have wasted good valuable living time wasting it here reading the ramblings of an old fool, are you mad? Go, go and fly my little birdies, take flight and do not return for my job here is done.

I took these photos whilst drunk

2008-11-15T19:16:00.012Z

A big honey bee dressed up for a Saturday night out on the town.

The 19th Century Country gardeners were drunk on cider and high on smoky stuff when they planted this boundary hedge.

A close up shot of the head of my pint of Irish Guinness

Your guess is as good as mine?

A Turkey on holiday paddling

One of the big poles with long ropes in Combe Martin that tie the sky down above our Village

This is where the band like to hang out and watch Arthur Ramsbottom play with his organ

The day they forgot to pay the bill for colour so my walk in the park was all black and white

Thanks for your comments folks! I promise to pop by soon on your blogs but right now my knickers are on a low heat on gas mark 4 in the oven

Lest we forget

2008-11-11T07:12:00.003Z

Was there love once? I have forgotten her.
Was there grief once? Grief yet is mine.
Other loves I have, men rough, but men who stir
More grief, more joy, than love of thee and thine.

Faces cheerful, full of whimsical mirth,
Lined by the wind, burned by the sun;
Bodies enraptured by the abounding earth,
As whose children we are brethren: one.

And any moment may descend hot death
To shatter limbs! Pulp, tear, blast
Beloved soldiers who love rough life and breath
Not less for dying faithful to the last.

O the fading eyes, the grimed face turned bony,
Oped mouth gushing, fallen head,
Lessening pressure of a hand, shrunk, clammed and stony!
O sudden spasm, release of the dead!

Was there love once? I have forgotten her.
Was there grief once? Grief yet is mine.
O loved, living, dying, heroic soldier,
All, all my joy, my grief, my love, are thine.

Robert Nichols

(invalided home during the first world war)

Warm colours

2008-11-08T22:31:00.007Z

Sorry, no new photos but I thought I would post a few of my old ones, ones with a bit of warmth in to keep the cold from the bones. We have not had any heating because the boiler is not working so we have been living around the fire. Nothing funny to say right now; the monkeys are in cleaning out my head at the moment, they make so much noise I can hardly sleep but I know they have my best interests at heart....good monkeys.

Sitting by the fire
it really warms my heart
Should not have had the peanuts
they make me want to fa .....

I ride a bright blue bumper car
driving at the speed of light
I bump in to a gorilla
and he takes me out to fight.

I arranged to meet my sweetheart
under the kissing lamp
when she arrived we sat on a bench
and it made our knickers damp.

cough... sorry, I mean her knickers.

This is my lovely honey pot,
it looks like the colour of brass
Have you ever tried warming honey
and spreading it on your ar...... artichoke

Yellow fishing boat

2008-11-01T14:16:00.003Z

A little yellow fishing boat
sailing out to sea
A little yellow fishing boat
catching big fish for my tea.

The battle song a true story!

2008-11-01T12:32:00.003Z

If you want to waste a couple of minutes then you can listen to this story about how the Battle of Waterloo was won but I would not bother wasting your time if I was you!

Boom!

2008-10-25T17:43:00.002Z

I have started a new job so sorry I have not blogged for a while but being a bank robber is hard work especially as most of the bank safes are bare at the moment.

I hope everyone is well and I hope you like this photo I took of the sky that which is something that you may have in your parts too (no, I do not mean your parts as is your parts, what type of a cad to you think I am)

Love you, got to go now, we will meet for coffee sometime... ok ya!

Chow baby!

A walk in the English Countryside

2008-10-18T20:25:00.010Z

A very very very old church which must have been hundreds of years old and built by someone like Norman the Conker who came to England from France back in about the year 1066 and landed by boat on the beaches near Hastings so as to avoid airport custom's and passport control and had a scrap with our King Harold and poked his eye out with an arrow making poor old Harold get blood stains on his smart outfit made from the skin of a dead unicorn (it had to be dead of course otherwise it would have got very cold in the winter without it's fur coat and all of the other unicorns would have called him a freak and thrown toasted hedgehogs at him)

This is very very very very old church door and the clever thing about it is that you can go either in or out of the church (I love exploring old churches)

Mmmm ...crispy duck with pancake rolls and plum sauce... yummy! Did I really say Crispy duck with pancake rolls and plum sauce... yummy! when children may be reading this blog? This was a joke of course kids because everyone knows that the crispy duck that you get at the Chinese restaurant is not really made out of cute fluffy ducks but cute fluffy bunny wabbits instead! Gosh I am turning in to a mean old humbug.

An old English red post box made in the reign of Queen Victoria due to the V and the R embossed on it's front.... there, see, I am not as thick as you all say I is!
(click on the photo to enlarge it and can you see the face of the man at the bottom left hand corner of the post box made out of the white growy stuff? Or is it just me? It even has an eye

Mmmm ... Crispy lamb with pancake rolls and plum sauce... yummy!

What did one lamb turn around and say to the other lamb?

He didn't because lambs do not speak, I cannot believe that you were just trying to work out in your head what he was saying, mind you, it could have been a she.

I hope you have all had a great week, sorry that I am not blogging so regularly due to starting a new job etc, thanks for still popping by.

byeee

Ilfracombe harbour at night

2008-10-15T05:46:00.003Z

Hello folks!

Wish you were here!

2008-10-09T08:47:00.004Z

This post card is for one of my customers Steve from Magna Displays in Nuneaton (see Steve, I do live here in Combe Martin!)

I think that this photo must have been taken in the 50's or 60's because that pile of seaweed just behind the yellow boat to the right of the photo is not there any more and the man in the dashing red swim shorts now has a big long grey beard and tatty faded pink shorts but apart from that things are just the same!

Take these wings

2008-10-07T11:00:00.007Z

"Fly in to the blue sky before the clouds cover it boy!" the old man shouted to me above the wind "but I cannot fly" I told him "then take these magic wings" he replied thrusting a broken broom handle and a dirty mop in to my arms "these are not wings! One is an old broom and the other is an old mop" I said, "wings boy, magic wings that were a gift from the Gods to me, hold one in each arm and just you see laddy, just you see!"

"As you run shout the magic word 'Hagooo' and you will fly!"

"Now run! chase the blue sky, fly like a bird and leave whilst you can!"

With the broom crooked in my left arm and the old mop in my right I ran over the Braunton sands skipping through the shallow water flapping my wooden wings up and down "hagooo .... hagoooooo" I shouted out loud"

"Run Boy run, you'll see!"

A couple walking their dog stopped by the old man and asked him what I was doing as I became a small flapping dot on the horizon "I have not got a clue" the old man told them "I think he was drunk and told me that he could fly using that old mop and broom, so sad, so very sad"

Beach Huts

2008-10-05T22:13:00.003Z

Goodnight Summer! All around the British coast the doors are closed on the little 'home from home' beach huts. Sandy buckets and spades, Grandpas false teeth, kettles which will not feel the warmth of hot water for making tea all wait patiently until next Spring.

Good night beach huts.

Things that make me laugh

2008-10-01T18:59:00.003Z

The crowd at the display waited to watch the clever drug sniffing dog, he came in to the ring did a lap around the inside of the fence to the joy of the crowd and then squatted and did a doggie dodoo, "ugh that's sick" said one little girl.

OK I promise not to talk about do doos of any kind any more as it seems as though my last few posts have been about this subject.

Today I walked to the Post Office, there was a little old lady with a walking stick on the path up ahead of me so I stepped on to the road to walk past her, as I drew along by her side she seemed to pick up speed, in fact as I walked on the road with cars whizzing by she kept up pace for pace so I started to walk faster, she walked faster so I walked faster, this was becoming silly, we were virtually running side by side as I neared the Post Office, she was gasping for breath and so was I but there was no way I was going to back down, I had to over take her, it was then that I noticed that the sleeve of my top that I had tied around my waist had got attached to her coat.

I took the black bin bag full of waste down to the big wheelie bin in the road tonight and as I swung it up in the air to drop it in to the big bin the bottom of the bag spit open sending all the waste food etc all up the street. I shouted a rude word and had to go and get another bag so as to scoop up all the old food whilst a bus full of passengers stopped in the road by me and had a good laugh at my expense!

Never drive whilst drinking! I had filled up a big bottle of water for the journey but due to it's size I had to crouch and take a swig of the bottle whilst it rested on the windscreen, it was at that moment that a dog ran in to the road and the bottle hit the windscreen and sent the bottle opening in to the top of my gum. With blood running from a cut in my gum I said another rude word.

I am off to bed now, too much excitement for one day!

Sisters!

2008-09-26T13:11:00.000Z

Little Yellow thing

2008-09-25T15:48:00.005Z

This little fellow was dirty and yellow

And he spoke as I walked on by

He said “I’m from space, so far away”

And then he started to cry.

I asked why he was crying and he said he was flying

but his space craft crashed in the sea,

He was miles from home and felt so alone

And was desperate to poo and to pee…

STOP!

You can cut that smutty talk out, there may be adults reading this blog.

Sorry, I must apologize for my devious other half; he does not get out that often.

I found this little man (or woman) sitting on a rock by the sea, it must have been a lost toy, “What a dirty little ugly thing”.. Yup, that’s what it said about me!

Jake and Bandit

2008-09-23T11:09:00.003Z

Jake starts to prepare Bandit ready for the BBQ ... Mmmm he was delicious!

Okay, stop the screaming, do you really think we would cook and eat our pet dog? We are not that mean, we just stole an old ladies poodle from the other side of the camp site and cooked that instead (it was a bit like eating hot candy floss)

Editors note to kids reading this blog: This is a joke, we did not really eat a pet dog, we were all so full after eating three cats, a guinea pig and two pet parrots that there was no way we could manage a dog as well.

Toby

2008-09-23T11:07:00.003Z

Look at Toby looking at you,
he has this strained look
because he needs a big poo!

UUrrrr!

Lovely Gent

2008-09-23T10:52:00.003Z

I saw this lovely gent sitting by the harbour and asked if I could take his photo. He just looked so smart and was enjoying the sun. Everybody has a story to tell and I bet this kind man could tell a tale or two, he no doubt fought in the last great war and it is people of this generation that we owe a great debt to (plus we owe a debt to the brave men and women of the armed forces that are trying to keep peace right now).

Gosh this is a serious blog post ... must have more vodka .... hic! ...., sobering up! ... hic!

Bye for now!

PS I deleted the silly audio that I did

Ilfracombe Fair

2008-09-18T20:14:00.003Z

I went to Ilfracombe harbour
to have a go on the noisy big fair,
I had a ride on the big dipper
with the wind blowing through my hair.

I saw the bearded lady
and had a beer with the man made of tin,
I got lucky on one of the side stalls
and a gold fish in a bag I did win.

By the end of the night I had no money
and had gambled my clothes and my house,
I am now a traveling clown
and share a bed with drag queen mouse.

What a stupid poem, a bit like me I suppose.

See if you can read this below (sent to me by Bob & Sue)

O lny srmat poelpe can raed this.
I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdr nig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rgh it pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?! Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed th is psas it on !!

Goodnight!

My best photo

2008-09-14T15:09:00.003Z

I love this shot, one of the best I have ever taken and I am so proud of it but the only small problem is if I can be really honest with you is that it is not my photo! Waaaaaaaaaggghhhhh!!! Not fair, I should have been the one to take this, the glory was all mine for the taking, why me??
Okay folks, this photo was really taken by my friend Dave Coomber who has just bought a new camera and thought I would like to see a few of the shots he had taken. Out of all of them I just really love this shot, I think it is the man sitting on the bench who may be deep in thought mulling over his problems with natures help or of course his wife could have taken him out for some fresh air having been laid up all week with two broken legs and she forgot to take him home ("car keys - Check ... lipstick - Check .. empty wine bottle - Check .. right I'm off home!"). Well done Dave!

And this one I did take, I like to call it 'cloudy, coloury, sea stuff at nighty night time'

Birthday girl ... boy? .... thing!

2008-09-09T07:34:00.003Z

I was dancing up on some steps opposite Burger King whilst everyone was inside, I had the dog so I could not go in. I did not realize that a small crowd had gathered watching me as I danced to my family, I shouted down to the people in the street below trying to explain what I was doing but it did not help that I happened to be standing outside of a shop selling all sorts of 'smoking' products (know what I mean man?)

I also did not realize that Bethany Hook was filming me from inside Burger King and that she would put a film of me dancing on her Bebo site. It was Bethany's birthday party on Saturday so shall we just say that this photo is pay back time?

Pooo!

2008-09-08T07:57:00.003Z

Bandit after being hosed off.

I was walking bandit, I saw an old building in the woods and thought I would have a look. I climbed over some bushes in to the small woods and the first thing I saw was an old three wheeler car which was overgrown with ivy and branches, next to the car was what I can only describe as a small man made pool with waste pipes running in to it, the water looked like it had stayed stagnant for years and I am sure that amongst all the leaves and rubbish floated bits of smelly poo poo.

On the other side of the pool was an old wooden shed and I wondered what was in there, the only way to get across to the other side of the pool was to walk step by step along a small ledge whilst balancing above the water holding on to the branches above. I thought it was worth the risk to see what treasures waited for me on the other side of the shed's door.

I told bandit to sit and wait and started to walk along the ledge by the side of the pool whilst balancing at an angle above the stagnant water, easy does it, "stay there bandit", almost there, inch by inch .... 'CRACK!' .... the branch I was holding snapped. For a brief moment in time I seemed to just hang in mid air and then down I went in to the water with a splash, I ended up sitting waist deep in this stagnant smelly water and it had splashed up over my top and in to my hair, the smell was unbelievable.

I managed to stand up and thought that I may as well walk to the other side of the pool and climb out to see what was in the shed. "Stay there Bandit, wait!" I got to the shed door and as I turned the handle to open the door I heard a big splash, I looked around and there he was up to his neck in water doing the doggy paddle which he was rather good at considering he is a dog "****** Dog! I said to stay there!!!!!!" I grabbed him by the collar and hoisted him out, as I dumped him on the mud he was smiling and looked at me as if to say "me good boy, me follow you, me want cookie"

Why me?

I opened the shed door and was just confronted with just daylight, the back half of the shed had rotted away leaving a pile of rotten wood.

Bandit was wet and smelt of poo, I was wet and smelt of poo, we walked home smelling of poo.

Why me!

Bye for now!

2008-09-01T22:20:00.013Z

Here are some pictures from me to you,
they may cheer you up when you're feeling blue,
Print them out and admire the sun
but please don't use the paper to wipe your b**!

Sorry but I have to stop this daily blog for a while and just do a post once a week.Over three years and 40,000 visitors, I am honored.

Thank you so much to all you lovely fellow bloggers and friends who have popped by and left such lovely comments, I will visit your blogs. It seems like you have had quite a party last week!

My mind is just a bit fuzzy at the moment (fuzzier than normal). I am the original 'fool on the hill'!

Talk to you soon and thanks!!

Martin xxxxxx

"woof!"

2008-08-22T23:49:00.006Z

Hello! Sorry I cannot post on this blog for a while due to one thing or another but I will post again one day soon and that is a big promise! Cubs honor!

To make up for it I have just stuck a few of my recent photos down below for you to print out and use as toilet paper.

Goodnight, sleep tight Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Love Mr.Stickland.

XXXXX

Way down below

Turn out the lights

Goodnight!

Combe Martin Raft Race

2008-08-19T08:37:00.011Z

The sky was wet, the sea was wet, the wet was wet and we were all wet but at least as you can see from the photo below we finished with a nice sunset and we all went home, rubbed our selves down, rubbed ourselves up, had some hot chocolate and then climbed in to a warm bed then climbed out of it sometime later and went home to our own beds.

An end to a very wet but good carnival and many thanks to all the organizers, you did a great job and NO thanks to the ******** who visited the village and fought on the stage with the police causing the rest of the weeks night music events to be canceled ... grow up or if you cannot handel the drink stick to fizzy pop!

Raft race

2008-08-17T22:20:00.001Z

Must be quick, as you see it is very cold here, more pics of raft race tomorrow, sorry but I have to go or I will not have gone!

I love you

No really, I do (apart from the ugly ones)

No, I love you all really.

Combe Martin Wheel barrow race

2008-08-16T11:26:00.001Z

Some fun and games from last nights Combe Martin Wheel barrow race. Pour yourself half a pint of vodka, put your feet up and hands down and press the play button!

Carnival night

2008-08-15T09:48:00.008Z

Yipeeeee!

Combe Martin Carnival night was great again and everyone made a great effort!
Well done!

Combe Martin Rainbow

2008-08-12T20:14:00.005Z

A double rainbow landed on the Pac of Cards pub in Combe Martin last week, it was the perfect photo but my camera did not show the true colours to their full effect.

The Pac of Cards pub was built by a gambler who won lots of money about 300 years ago. With his winnings he instructed the builders to build a house like a stack of cards. There are 4 floors (as in four suites), 13 doors (as in the amount of cards in a suit), 52 windows (as in the amount of cards in a pack) and I was going to say 1 joker (Chris the landlord) but I would probably get barred (you know I only joke Chris!)

They say there is a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, I wonder if that gambler buried any of his spare winnings in the garden of the Pac of Cards pub? .... I wonder in deed? .... Jackie where is the shovel???

Got nothing funny to say today...

Poo poo!

There you go, hows that?

2008-08-11T21:59:00.003Z

"Plop"

Right now I feel like being a man of few words.

Wild sky

2008-08-10T19:53:00.003Z

Hey you crazy sky hanging around with those clouds looking for trouble, you're mad you hear me, just mad but I admire your style. What a crazy fool you are sky, almost as mad as that earth dude .... just crazy man!

Why the American flag?

2008-08-09T10:03:00.006Z

You may have to click on the photo to enlarge it and you may want to ask me why the Royal Britannia Hotel in Ilfracombe harbour is flying the American flag? Well go on then, ask me!

"why is the Royal Britannia Hotel in Ilfracombe harbour flying the American flag Martin?"

Grab a cup of tea, some biscuits (or I better say cookies as we are on an American theme) and make yourself comfortable because the story I am about to tell you is all about betrayal, love, murder and oil! .... oh, hang on a minute, I am getting confused with an old episode of Dallas that I watched last night!

The real reason why there is an American flag on top of that pole and not a Chinese one is because I do not know, yup, I have not got a clue as to why the flag is up there. If anyone knows then please tell me.

Today the weather is phooey with more phooey coming in from the west later on in the day.

The end of the world

2008-08-08T15:19:00.006Z

This morning was a special day.

The God of Nackerrakadimbo would wreak havoc on planet earth after eight million, four hundred and sixty two thousand, eight hundred and twenty seven days, four hours, fifteen minutes and six seconds of lying dormant under a George Forman grill.

It was said in centuries old scriptures that I had found inside a box of cheeky chappie choco breakfast cereal that when all the 0’s and 8’s line up then only those that had smeared their skin with pigs fat, squeezed in to a pair of undersized sling back shoes and wedges two grapes up each nostril would survive Nackerrakadimbo’s wrath.

I carried out the instructions and climbed on to the roof of our house facing the sea.

Oh yes you heathen fools, did you not know that at 8 seconds and 8 minutes past 8 o’clock on the 8^th day of the 8^th Month in 2008 that this would occur!

zero eight - zero eight - zero eight - zero eight - zero eight - zero eight

Well I did and I can tell you this! It takes a lot of hot baths to get pigs fat off of your skin, they lied to me!

Stupid Cheeky Chappie Choco breakfast cereals scriptures, they are rubbish!

Byeee

PS The reason why I spend time at the moment writing posts for this blog is because it is the only thing right now that helps me keep my sanity, so please forgive me, I am not wasting time but it helps me right now.

Dreamy dog

2008-08-07T20:21:00.005Z

My Grandmas dog did not flinch and I was amazed at how an animal could keep so still, for ten minutes I watched and then how I laughed when I remembered that the dog had been stuffed after passing away over twenty years ago! How silly am I?

Not really of course, I tell a lie, it was only nineteen years ago.

No, I really do tell a lie because as far as I know my Grandma never had a dog and this is my dog Bandit and the reason he is keeping so still is because this is a photo of him.

The dog gazed out at the setting sun,
dreaming of water falls,
He then got tired of thinking of water
and proceeded to lick his ...

Galls? ... fools? ... talls? ... what on earth rhymes with falls ....... urr ......... Ummmm???

Nope, sorry, it looks like you will have to finish this one off!

Boats

2008-08-06T14:45:00.003Z

Somebody has pulled out the plug again from Ilfracombe harbour, the gurgling of the water draining away could be heard from miles away, Mr Jones from North Wales heard and patted his stomach and said to his wife that he would not be eating kippers again.

Nearly 30 years ago!

2008-08-05T08:15:00.004Z

“Boring!” I hear you say, okay so I know these photos have nothing to do with Combe Martin even though some were taken near Woolacombe nearly 30 years ago when I was 15 but I just wanted to prove that yes I did have hair once!

Look at me smoking a fag (that’s a cigarette to our American friends!!!) and drinking a pint of beer. I was 6 foot when I was 15, so it was normally me that had to go up to the bar and buy the beers trying to keep my voice as deep as possible and blaming my teenage spots on an allergic reaction to something I ate. What a Pratt I look! I thought I was Clint Eastwood as I posed for my best mate Mark.

In the other photos Mark shows off his six pack but really he was a fat little boy so I had to bury him in the sand with just his head poking out and lay down in front of him so my body looked like his, the things you do for friends!

Ilfracombe Bird Man

2008-08-04T17:50:00.012Z

It was very wet at the Ilfracombe bird man competition yesterday, in fact I think that the mad people that jumped in to the sea kept dryer than us spectators!. They came in all shapes and sizes and tried to fly across the harbour but all of them dropped like stones in to the sea below (I suppose nobody has ever told them that you can easily walk around to the other side!)

It was so wet that it was black and white

The RNLI put a net in to the water to try to fish out any lose money or watches that sank to the bottom of the harbour (they did a great job really fishing out all the broken bits and bobs)

People watching from the other side of the harbour waving big coloured mushrooms

Nice underwear!

Pretty but mad!

Nobody told me the tide was coming in!

A few last cigarettes to calm their nerves

Our brave German student Marius who is staying with us was as mad as the mad Englishmen and women and jumped in too (there he goes in the bottom left hand corner)
He is not coming home in my car all wet and soppy like that!

So sad

2008-08-02T08:21:00.003Z

Today is cold and wet just like my heart because last night I lost a good friend. If anybody finds a caterpillar going by the name of Clive then please tell him to come home and I am sorry. I will clean all his hundreds of pairs of boots and he was right, his toothbrush was the green frog one. Please come home Clive.

Royal Wedding

2008-07-31T22:39:00.004Z

I found some old photo film in the loft last year and after getting it developed realised that they were photos I took of Lady Diana's and Prince Charles's wedding, I was one of the 600,000 people that lined the streets and this was the only blurry shot I could catch (she never waved at me or blew me a kiss!)

It was 27 years ago yesterday that this took place (thanks for reminding me Mark who made the journey up to London on that hot day by train with the two girls and me).

It is a shame she died in Paris and I am sure that it is one of those stories that will never be put to rest as to if it was an accident or she was murdered.

Wow! This is a cheery post! I think I better go to bed while the goings good!

You may have to click on the photo to make it larger but if you do not want to then that is up to you, you must start making choices for yourself, I will not always be here to hold your hand, go, just go and fend for yourselves, you are big boys and girls now!

water view

2008-07-31T11:23:00.005Z

This is the view from my head cam as I slowly made my way across the pond towards the seagulls and ducks. I had coated my head with thick grease and covered it in feathers from one of my wife's pillows, I had also fashioned a beak out of a carrot and managed to tape this to my nose. I had just one aim and that was to get fat Larry the gull for it was he who had dive bombed me and left a present which dripped down the front of my new purple blazer.

My only problem was that I had chosen to get Larry back during mating season and whilst half way across the pond a big heron bird with a glint in it's eye came down and straddled the back of my neck. In between gulps of water and a cloud of feathers I tried to get the heron off of me and shouted "Get off you bas***d!" A little boy who had been watching ran off in the direction of his mother shouting "BAS****! BAS****! the big birdy called me a BAS***!" at which point the mother smacked the back of his legs and told him not to be so rude and silly.

The park keeper with his hands on his hips and a scowl told me to get out of the water, I tried to explain that I was just trying to get Larry back but he banned me from the park and told me never to come back again.

I hate seagulls.

Bye!

PS One last bit of news, it is reported that the petrol company Shell are only making 2 million pounds per hour (that's $4 million dollars to those crazy guys over the pond)

I know that petrol prices are going sky high but perhaps they should go up even more, how on earth are the poor little bunny wunnies going to survive on this small amount of profit?

Men in a boat

2008-07-30T07:54:00.003Z

Four men in a boat out on the sea
Hang on! they've got beer
Wait for me!

This is a photo of four men from the Zamboolie tribe that live on a small island just off of the North Devon coast. I managed to capture the shot just as their chief was about to throw a spear from the boat at one of the local ice cream sellers that did not realize they were hostile and was trying to make them buy four super softy Devon ice creams with chopped nuts, chocolate flakes and multi coloured bits.

I do not like to blow my own trumpet but I was a bit of a hero on this day because I stopped the attack by running down to the boat and reminding the chief that it was a Sunday and the arrangement was that they would only come on a killing spree to Combe martin on either a Tuesday or Friday morning between the hours of 9.30 and 11.45.

The chief was really apologetic for scaring everyone, he waved at the crowds, retrieved one of his arrows from the backside of some poor holiday maker and headed off back to their island.

Some people are so stupid!

Combe Martin blackberries

2008-07-29T13:34:00.003Z

I was walking past this blackberry bush
they looked all plump and juicy
They reminded me of an old girlfriend
I think she was called Dave or Lucy

She used to look a bit like this berry
all plump with knobbly bits
She was always making me laugh
and had a smashing pair of t........

............. Sorry, got to go, I will finish this poem off later.............

Bye!

Sunset

2008-07-28T21:57:00.002Z

Goodnight, sleep tight and watch the bed bugs don' t bite ... and the fleas ... and the worms ... and the monsters ...... and all those creepy things that are going to get you tonight when you lie asleep in bed! Sweet dreams!

The Wall

2008-07-27T12:28:00.003Z

It's strange but it was not until I put this close up photo of a brick wall on to my PC that it looked rather like a photo of a small pond and waterfall. Is it just me or can you too see the shape of a tree, running water and stuff like that? I think it could just be a trick of the light?

2008-07-25T13:07:00.006Z

Some dates of importance:

Footy! 1pm this Saturday at Hollands Park, Combe Martin 1st V Equalisers,
Bar - refreshments available!

The Combe Martin Carnival week!!

Sat 9th August 5pm at Hollands Park.
Stalls, sideshows, BBQ, Junior wheel barrow race, Wolf man opens the Combe Martin carnival, crowning of carnival Queen, Talent contest plus BEER!

Sun 10th August 6.30pm at St.Peters ad Vincula church with songs of praise and flower show NO BEER

Mon 11th Combe Martin artists art exhibition 10.30am - 4.30pm at the primary school hangman path. Free entry but still NO BEER

Mon 11th at the Pac O' Cards 5.30pm Fairy Queen night PLUS BEEEER!!! (if wet it will be held in the Village Hall, not sure about any beer up there and if a big meteorite hits the Village and wipes it off the face of the earth then the Fairy queen night will be held at the old seaman's mission, Perth in Australia) )

Tue 12th On the beach 7pm - 10pm it's Karaoke (three pubs near the beach ... BEER!!!!!!!)

Tue 12th Pac o' cards 8.45pm Quiz Night and sHHbeeeeeer!

Wed 13th All of Combe Martin from 7.30pm It's the carnival parade with bands, floats, walkers, BEER, music, BEER and finish on the beach with music and BBQ from 7.30pm - 11pm and BEEER!

Thus 14th At the Village Hall from 7pm for Carnival Bingo "two fat ladies - 18 (oh no, that's a thin and a fat one) Not sure about BEER, can someone let me know?)

Fri 15th Children's pavement artist competition 10.30am in Borough Road (get your dads to bring some beer kids). Tip for kids: why not practice your art on the living room walls with marker pens and the dogs doo doo's, practice makes perfect!

Fri 15th 8pm All of Combe Martin for the wheel barrow race followed by the fireworks display, music and BBQ on the beach with shlots shov SHBEEEEEER! (drinking alcohol by entrants is not permitted during the race ... oh BIG POOOO! just get tanked up before the race)

Sat 16th at the Village hall 9.30 - 12 noon The Farmers market with lots of local goodies (any home brew beer?)

Sat 16th 6.30 pm The Dinghy and raft races with a BBQ on the beach plus presentation of trophies plus BEEER at the pubs!

Sun 17th Nothing, absolute zero, nothing to do apart from walk the streets and check for BEER in any of the old thrown away beer cans

End of the day

2008-07-24T21:46:00.004Z

The band stand stands there empty (try saying that when you have had too many vodkas!)

Lets start again ...

The band stand stands there empty,
the sun sinks from the sky,
The holiday makers have gone home to bed
and I've spilt milk shake down my tie.

As I stood and watched the lovely sunset I had this fantastic life changing thought! For the life of me I cannot remember what it was though? 'brush hair' ... nope I have not got much hair so it could not have been that ..... 'let the cat out' ... nope ... we have not got a cat .... nope I forget!

Goodnight

Christian the Lion

2008-07-23T08:29:00.005Z

Okay so I joked about the horses yesterday but somebody sent me the link to the video below about a couple that raised a lion cub and then let him in to the wilds, now if you do not get all blubbery over this (I did not because I am very rufty tufty... sob) then you have no heart!

Byeeeeeee!!

PS I had to cut out the part where the lion ate the couple because this is a family blog.

"Christian stared at us in a very intense way," says Rendall. "I knew his expressions and I could see he was interested. We called him and he stood up and started to walk towards us very slowly.

"Then, as if he had become convinced it was us, he ran towards us, threw himself on to us, knocked us over, knocked George over and hugged us, like he used to, with his paws on our shoulders.

"Everyone was crying. We were crying, George was crying, even the lion was nearly crying."

Mummy and me

2008-07-21T16:12:00.002Z

I love horses, I could not eat a whole one though .... that is a joke by the way .... I could eat a whole one, but not the hooves (booo & hiss I hear the horse lovers say! I really am joking of course!

This is a cute little fella with his Mum in the fields above Combe Martin, I kept asking him to look at the camera and say "cheese" but all he could say was "carrots"